Marriage is God’s finishing school

After reading Dr. Gottman’s book, I believe that the central message of the “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”1 is that everyone, even the successful ones, can benefit from the principles that he shared in the book. We all have something more to learn every day that will help our own marriages either get out of the brink of destruction or succeed even more. I know for me, the exercises provided within the chapters has become a better communication platform for me and my husband. I especially loved the questions in the “Fond and Admiration” section. Even after being married for 14 years, there are still somethings that I did not know about my sweetheart. We have become closer by applying the lessons of the book in our marriage.

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Dr. Gottman also talked about an early warning system that helps strengthen a marriage. The “marital poop detector” is so vital to a marriage because it is a warning tool that helps the couple detect something wrong within their union before it escalates into something bigger. To implement this principle in my marriage, I need to constantly be in tune with my husband and how my own actions are affecting my relationship with him.

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I was also very inspired by the central message in Dr. Goddard’s “Drawing Heaven into your marriage” book.2 I believe that the main focus of his book was to look into ourselves first and change our attitude towards our relationships in order for them to succeed. This self-analyzation is the only way that we will see our marriage just as God sees it. My favorite part of his book was the constant reminder that our marriages is God’s “finishing school for the godly soul.” He also said that, “Marriage is ordained to stretch and refine us.” I know that as I’ve pondered and even applied the principles Dr. Goddard outlined in his book, it has helped me be a little bit more patient, more understanding and more charitable within my marriage. It has also helped me realize my weaknesses and how to lean on my faith in God to help me in my imperfections. He reminded us that “We can flee Him (our Lord) or we can go to Him. It is always better to go to Him.”

Resource:
1. Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (n.d.). The seven principles for making marriage work.
2.Goddard, H. (2009). Drawing Heaving into Your Marriage. Cedar Hills, UT: Joymap Publishing.