Law of Consecration in Marriage

In Elder Robbins talk of “Agency and Anger” I was reminded that anger is Satan’s biggest strategy to bring contention in the home. My biggest take away from his counsel is the fact that “no one makes us mad and others don’t make us angry.” That is so powerful to me because it reminds me that I have agency. With that comes the responsibility to control my feelings and emotions. I think about the many ills that happen in our society these days. In the need for the majority to find justice, they always try to find the “cause” or why someone would do something. In this attempt to find something to blame, we forget that we all have the responsibility for our actions. Yes there are certain diagnosis, illnesses or other mentalities that might be brought about my influence of others or just plain things that we are born with. However this doesn’t take away the fact that we are responsible for the actions created by our emotions, most importantly anger. I love how Elder Robbins reminded us at the end of his talk that “choice and accountability are inseparable principles.” And in any relationship, especially in our marriage, this is critical in order to have a happy and peaceful union.

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In connection with anger and agency comes forgiveness. This is so important in a marriage because it shows that we are willing to give up our pride and make amends in order to have love back in the marriage. I also think that if we want to be forgiven, cause we are only human, we need to forgive and what better environment/relationship to exercise this giving and receiving of forgiveness than in marriage.

After we have used our agency to control our anger and strong emotions and have forgiven our spouse with their weakness comes consecration.

According to Brother Goddard, “Marriage provides glorious opportunities to practice consecration . . . we are invited to dedicate our lives, our talents, our weekends, and our weaknesses to the sacred enterprise of sanctifying our marriages and ultimately perfecting our souls.”

Some of the little ways that I’ve consecrated myself to my spouse and marriage is to do my responsibilities without complaining, being flexible with my schedule so I can go have fun with my husband when he initiates, and helping my husband with computer issues without criticism when he needs it. These things might be “little things” but they are big for me as they a fight against the natural man in me. I can be really protective of my time and so when something throws off my schedule, I get really upset. This is especially a struggle since I’ve gone back to school. I feel that if I don’t adhere to my daily schedule I won’t be able to keep up with my studies. But I also realize that I need the time to step away and reconnect with my family, especially with my husband. So now I’ve learned to ask everyone in the morning what their plans are. This is especially important on Saturdays when everyone is home and my husband would want us to watch a movie in the afternoon or go on a hike if the weather is good. By knowing what he wants to do as soon as we wake up, I’m able to work around his schedule.

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Bro. Goddard also said that “no partner on the face of the earth can meet all our needs.” However if we focus more on what we can do/give/help our partner with, instead of meeting them halfway, we would see that we are much more capable of giving more than our 100%. That for me is a sign that we are practicing the skills for true adherence to the law of consecration.

Resource:
1. Elder L.G. Robbins, "Agency and anger," Ensign, May 1998, 80.
2. Goddard, H. (2009). Drawing Heaving into Your Marriage. Cedar Hills, UT: Joymap Publishing.