Unity in Marriage

President Henry B. Eyring presented some great advice regarding unity in his talk entitled “That We May Be One.”1 His thoughts, although directed to humanity in general, fits perfectly in establishing unity within marriages. He said that being one with our spouses is an essential part of God’s plan. President Eyring said, “Our Heavenly Father wants our hearts to be knit together. That union in love is not simply an ideal. It is a necessity.”

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When I think about “becoming one in marriage”, my thoughts directly turn to my in laws. My father in law was a young widow at 32 years old when my husband’s mother passed away due to a car accident. This tragedy left him heartbroken and understandably overwhelmed in figuring out how to care for his four young children, one of them (my husband) being only a few months old. As he was putting his life back into pieces, it was clear to him that he needed to find a “help meet” in order to both work and take care of his children. Fortunately he met my mother in law. We refer to her as an angel because without her willingness to marry a widow with four children, who knows what would have happened to my husband and his siblings. I think the commitment that both my in laws made with each other to rebuild the family after a tragedy is an example of having their hearts knitted together.

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A big part of achieving unity within the marriage is through weekly couple council. Elder Russell M. Ballard gave us some great council on the what, why and how of this important meeting. In his explanation, he talked a lot about how councils are essential to the everyday running of the church. Some vital aspects of these meetings involves an agenda, prayer, charity with one another, and an invitation for the Spirit to direct. These same chief elements of a church council are the exact ones that are necessary for each successful weekly couple council. Elder Ballard emphasized the significance of accepting the various differences we have and being open to one another’s opinions and beliefs. He said that, “By appointing different accountability to men and women, Heavenly Father provides the greatest opportunity for growth, service and progress.”2 The differences that we have are part of our divine make up. Having respect and charity for one another is part of our refinement.

Resources:
1. Henry B. Eyring, "That We May Be One" Ensign, May 1998, 66
2. M. Russell Ballard (1997) “Counseling With Your Councils.” Chapter 2