My spouse and my friend

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In John Gottman’s book called "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work " 1 his definition of friendship within the marriage are about the couple actually liking each other and having that camaraderie that people have with their friends. Of course the friendship in marriage is deeper and stronger than other friendships but that is the basis.

The friendship is important in a marriage because the husband and wife need to have that sense of loyalty to one another. They also need to be able to like each other enough to want to be with them 24/7. Treating your spouse as your best friend also gives you that person who you feel safe to talk to about anything and everything.

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I thought about my own marriage and thankfully it is characterized by positive sentiment override. After reading the chapters from the Gottman book, I asked my husband if when we argue, do we complain or criticize each other. That was something that really stood out to me because I know I can be a complainer but I can also criticize when I’m really frustrated. I wanted to ask him because if that is something I need to be more aware of, then I will work on it. Lucky for me, both my husband and I don’t even remember the last time we’ve argued which is a sign that we don’t have many arguments within our relationship.

Friendship with our spouse makes us less selfish. We also don't seek many outside friendships if our marriage has a solid foundation of friendship. I feel the exact way with my marriage. My husband and I are best friends and as an introvert, he is really all the friend that I need and I'm totally happy with that.

Resource:
1. Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (n.d.). The seven principles for making marriage work.